this blog was supposed to be all about turning over a new leaf and starting a new chapter in my life. but all it has amounted to so far is a way for me to let out all my angst when it's too hateful to share with anyone else. i guess i may never be able to go back to that girl that used to blog every single day back in high school. i'm now a girl who just tweets a lot on her private k-pop twitter account whenever something major happens.
i can't say i dislike who i am now. i don't even know who i am anymore. and that statement is not a sweeping declaration of how lost i'm supposed to be. it's more of a comment on how i'm living such an unexamined life. for some reason, that quote has just been running through my mind randomly these days. "a life unexamined is a life not worth living." that's not verbatim but i think that's the general idea.
i go through the motions a lot these days and it seems like i rarely stop and ponder at what the hell it all means. i just keep doing, doing, doing. going, going, going. i'm not even sure if i'm happy where i am right now or not.
so i guess this is the purpose of this post tonight. no more promises of a new routine where i blog everyday. if i'm gonna do it, i'm just gonna go ahead and do it. i just want this post to commemorate a change in mindset where i can analyze and process exactly how i feel about what happens to me everyday. in a way, i feel like twitter has robbed me of all the extra thoughts that go through my mind in place of a succinct summary in 140 characters.
so what happened today?
i went to sleep at around 5 am this morning. i was up the entire night along with my ba 170 marketing plan groupmates trying to finish our final paper. for the entire stretch of time between 8:30pm to 12:30am, absolutely nothing was happening to our paper. fen and mj weren't online despite calling for a 7pm meeting. it was just another bout of procrastination on my part since i could have easily written my part right away and went to bed.
damn. why didn't i think of that.
i also spent a considerable amount of time photoshopping the mockup of bench fit. it was really just another procrastinating strategy since i was really dreading having to write anything for the paper since i genuinely lacked direction at where the paper was heading. the group never really met to iron out all the issues and loopholes that may arise.
in the end, we gave a crappy presentation and (i think) generally disappointed our professor. we were so obviously unprepared since we submitted our paper late, crammed the powerpoint until the last second, and were so agape at all the questions they were throwing at us. i can't even find it in me to feel frustrated since we got the presentation we deserved. things didn't magically fall into place this time and we have no one to blame but ourselves.
after the dismal report, donna and i met up with dea and karah to discuss our FYI final pitch. i was surprised to hear that they didn't wanna go through with the competition anymore since there wasn't enough time to completely think the entire thing through. better pull out than give a half-assed presentation, i guess. i applaud them for already knowing their limits. wonder when i'll figure out mine.
i dragged the three of them to katipunan to continue talking while i search for a good place to eat that has free parking (a rarity in katipunan, really). we ended up going all the way to xavierville and went inside chubby chicken. something was way off with their AC and i wasn't about to suffer through that so i suggested transfer to another restaurant. karah stopped by starr's first to try their famous milkshakes and we eventually decided to try eating at brickfire. despite my perception of the place as having really expensive food (which they did), they also had P120 or less meals that is just right for a student's budget. donna and i happily ate the adobo flakes and beef salpicao respectively. yummm is all i can say. definitely worth it and definitely worth coming back!
after more conversation, i dropped off dea at BA since she still had a 198 meeting, and i dropped karah off at her dorm. donna and i traveled the familiar route going to philcoa since she was going home before heading off to her big trinoma date. after that, i just went home and now i pretty much feel like just collapsing and sleeping.
before heading to bed, i've decided to pick my facial routine back up. i am now using pond's acne cleansing scrub paired with the pond's pore cleansing toner. the combined effect of both will hopefully result in a more beautiful and radiant skin by the time i get interviewed on monday.
however, as G-dragon said, sleep is the real secret to beautiful skin and who am i to disagree with a makeup endorser? so i guess that's it for now.
wish me luck and hengshoooo :)
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