before i delve into the pit that is facebook, i should probably try to make sense of all the things i'm feeling now.
this whole day feels like a bad dream, to be honest. i woke up about 30 minutes after the time i set on my alarm. this should already be a bad sign but i've gotten so used to just ignoring the alarm when i wake up, knowing that i can still squeeze in more sleeping time and just rush my preparations to school.
i must have seriously freaked Flor out, as i lay in Ate Heny's bed this morning, wearing only my underwear, my hair wrapped in a towel turban, and bundled up in my sister's green fluffy blanket, staring blankly into space.
what a purpose-less driven life.
first real blow to the ego today is when my pants scratched the screen of my blackberry. i frantically wiped at the scratch, willing it to go away. i licked and rubbed and wiped some more but the freaking scratch won't fade. i don't know if this is supposed to be an overarching metaphor for the rest of this day but it seems like the world is really against me. i have always stuffed my phone in my jeans and i have never gotten a scratch that deep or that obvious. right now, it's more tolerable but if you look closely, it's practically screaming imperfection. what an apt metaphor for me.
next bad thing of the day is getting my 142 results back. yup, i pretty much anticipated that i would get a low score but that doesn't protect me from the fact that i got a 64 out of a 100. tres level. my god. me and numbers. totally regretting giving out that finance version of my resume. i'll stick to the leadership shit for now, i guess. i just didn't study enough for the exam and it showed. i missed this opportunity to make my grade in 142 an uno because the best i can get now is a 1.5 since the midterms is equivalent to 40% of the final grade. gahd i'm such a fucking idiot. seriously. seriously. so dumb.
next bad thing is the 115 exam. again, i didn't study/practice enough so i ended up guessing a lot of the items. shite. there are a lot of people who feel the same way but i'm starting to think there really is no comfort in numbers. i don't know how else i'm supposed to get a good grade in that subject. must start reading the book i guess and really listen in class now.
overall, a shitty day. i am now trying to give up asianfanfiction, fanfiction.net, youtube, and twitter. how do i block those sites from my browser? gotta get a chrome web app for that.
cmon chica. time to turn things around. less and less time to do so.
